Diesen hoch philosphischen Text bekam ich neulich aus der Schweiz:
„I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‚I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.‘
I said, ‚WHAT??!! What was that?!‘
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…
‚You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.‘
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‚Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?‘
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‚Let’s get a pair for each outfit.‘
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, ‚That’s fine, honey.‘ She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, ‚I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.‘
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‚No honey, I don’t feel like it.‘
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, ‚WHAT?‘
I then said, ‚Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.‘
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, ‚Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?‘
Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her. „